Yet Another Raw Report – 7/25/2011
RAW – 7/25/11
Live from Hampton, Virginia
We’re getting a State of WWE address from HHH tonight and a WWE Championship match RIGHT NOW!
-Rey Mysterio beat The Miz for (apparently a toy version of) the WWE Championship
Good match in its own right. About the level of a typical good Raw main event. Cole questioned Rey’s championship credentials, wondering how he would be able to do press junkets wearing a mask. 619 chants multiple times throughout the match. Miz’s stance for readying the Skull Crushing Finale is ridiculous. Finish saw Miz hurt his already injured knee from Money In The Bank and Rey took advantage and hit the 619. Crowd was really getting into it by the end.
Afterwards, Miz attacked Rey from behind. And out comes Alberto Del Rio to do what many thought he would, but Rey vetoed that with a dive to the outside, scaring him off.
Champagne bath for Rey from the roster before running into John Cena, who smirked and congratulated him. Rey talked to Josh about sacrifices he made for his family to win the title. More champagne bath. Yay Rey.
Replay of last week with HHH ousting Vince and taking his place. “I love you, Pop. And I’m sorry.” DAAAAAWWWWW
-Dolph Ziggler beat Evan Bourne (non-title)
Dolph is finally using that awesome theme that’s been roaming the internet for a while. Finish saw Dolph hit a Zig Zag off a missed Shooting Star Press, before locking in the sleeper for the win. A fun little match. I’d love it if they just got 10-12 minutes to go all out at some point.
Dolph grabs a mike and says “Follow That!” Well, it was only 3 or so minutes, so you’re setting the bar kinda low there, champ.
Promo for “The Greatest Stars of the 21st Century” DVD. Nah.
Back from commercial and Keith Stone interrupts Eve arguing with The Bellas about their twin tomfoolery. Stone draws tattoos on a Bella. Eve is smitten. That was lame. Sure hope it leads to something. (It Didn’t)
-Kelly Kelly & Eve beat Maryse & Melina
Eve hit the dreaded “Shake It One Time Before A” Standing Moonsault. Maryse infringed on Kelly’s stinkface drawing the ire of said blonde chick. Finish saw Kelly pin one of the heels. I forget which.
HHH’s address is up next.
HHH comes out and would like to tell us that Vince made WWE the cool cat it is. Congrats to Rey, but he gets another match tonight against John Cena. What a jerk. At least let Rey take it home for a night. And his surprise return is…Jim Ross! Best commentary move since the last time he was brought back.
Oh, Cole’s not in the booth anymore? Best commentary move since JR was brought back. Cole’s not happy. BBQ and fat jokes ensue. HHH responds with a 14-year-old Austin Powers joke. He says he can’t fire Cole because his severance package is ridiculous. And Cole can’t quit because he would forfeit it. Or something. Cole has a match NEXT, so he has to go prepare.
Truth comes out and talks conspiracies, LITTLE JIMMY, and spiders. Hunter mocks him by talking to Truth’s imaginary friends, and giving him a match against a re-signed John Morrison soon. Wasn’t he just hurt? You let an injured guy’s contract expire? What’s wrong with you? Truth and John brawl when John eventually hits Starship Pain on Truth. JR replacing Cole and Morrison coming back = A better Raw.
Cole has been assigned to wear HHH’s gear and use his secondary theme. HHH has TWO themes. And Cole’s opponent is…….Zack Ryder! WOO WOO WOO!
-Zack Ryder squashed Michael Cole
Rough Rider. Pin. Take Care, Spike Your Hair. Hopefully Ryder’s here to stay.
-Alberto Del Rio beat Kofi Kingston
In a shocker to end all shockers, Kofi botched a move to start the match and again during a nearfall towards the end. I set my watch by it at this point. Kofi sold a kick to the arm for most of the match. Finish saw Alberto hit the cross armbreaker on Kofi’s bad arm. Match was pretty much filler.
Attention all Nielson families: HHH will appear on Smackdown this week.
Josh talked to Miz. Miz says Cena doesn’t deserve a title shot because Cena’s the reason they needed a new title in the first place. Plugs an appearance on Lopez Tonight. Ugh. You guys tried to get on Conan first, right?
-John Cena beat Rey Mysterio for the WWE Championship
How is Cena not a full-fledged heel for agreeing to face an already exhausted babyface champion? Dueling chants for and against Cena. Rey kicked Cena’s quad. A lot. JR makes such a difference, it’s not even funny. Rey countered Cena’s STF with one of his own, which Cena nearly countered into an AA, but his leg gave out. That was cool. Another noteworthy spot was Cena legdropping Rey’s face off from the top rope. Finish saw Rey reverse the AA, go for the 619, and run into another AA. Fans really dug this match, as did I.
All of a sudden, Living Colour’s “Cult of Personality” interrupts Cena’s celebration and…
…out comes CM Punk. Well, it was fun while it lasted. That whole week. Punk gets in the ring and holds the real belt up against Cena’s toy they grabbed from the merch stand as the show ends.
Overall: A good show. Both the opener and the main event were solid. JR coming back and Zack Ryder’s return to TV to squash Cole were really fun surprises. I’m glad Punk’s back, but that was WAY too soon.